Family

I got a request, online, from someone, copied from someone else that asked me to post something I am grateful for each day until Thanksgiving. Each day I tried to think about what that meant. Each day there was only one answer; family.

Wondrous things happen to me almost every day. Wishes come true, dreams reappear and give me hope, obstacles are overcome and give me strength, but none of those events or experiences would have real meaning without family.

Family is what we decide it is. For most of us it starts with parents and maybe siblings. For others it starts with the best friend we've ever had or maybe our family of faith or guidance. Sometimes family, means the people who touch our lives with courage or understanding, giving us hope. Family for some, is a treasured companion animal. But whatever family is defined as, I know for me, there is nothing more important.

These are the people who know me at my best and at my worst. They have been there through the death of loved ones and the celebrations of new life. My support and hope for the future, whatever disaster or illness I may suffer, comes from those who love me for and in spite of myself.

My "family" is a kaleidoscope of a myriad of different kinds of personalities, talents, and abilities. There are few groups of beings more funny, determined, steadfast, charming, or loving in the whole universe.

Some of these wonderful people are now facing tremendous obstacles. Yet they don't complain. They face them as we have faced everything together; one day at a time, borrowing strength from each other that assuredly will be returned when it is needed most.

What more could anyone wish for? I am grateful for you all; my husband, daughter and step-sons and their awesome partners, granddaughters and grandson, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews, in-laws (and OUT-laws), and dear friends.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Gloating, Snarking and Bullying

Gloating, snarking, and bullying. Three characteristics I abhor in human beings. Putting this out there sets me up for attack and I am absolutely aware of that fact. That is my intention. I would rather be a magnet for these kinds of behaviors from people who purport to love me, than allow that behavior to affect those around me who are not as hard-shelled a survivor of a lifetime of exposure to those attacks.

When it comes to my children, of whom I include my siblings, step-children, nieces, nephews and grandchildren, I am a mother bear and will not back down. I rarely get really angry, but when I do there is no further compromise available than for the behavior to stop or for me to remove the vulnerable people from the situation. I have realized, a little late in the game, that some of my own "children" are attacking one another. Looking at the world of animality, one can see that if a den is packed with too many pups or kits that or they are endangered, they begin to attack one another. Added to that is that natural tendency to establish a pack order.

Fortunately we are NOT animals and are endowed with the ability to CHOOSE. We can choose NOT to behave like animals.

Even as human beings we can sometimes slip into acting like we are children; taunting, teasing, bullying, begging, cajoling and committing all manner of heinous acts meant to elevate us in some way above others. We can become selfish trying to protect what is 'ours.' Luckily for me, I lost nearly every material possession I had at least three times in my life. I learned that things mean nothing. I learned that people mean everything.

Where has kindness and wisdom gone?

I am lucky I can chant (Nam Myoho Renge Kyo) until I understand what makes people act as they do to hurt others and to do everything I can to stop any such behavior I demonstrate, myself.

I am not so lucky in that it takes everything I have to continue to believe in my own power so that I make the correct decision to pray every day. For now, I will pray for the strength to PRAY and keep the weak or suffering in my heart as motivation.